What will you wish you had done?
Bronnie Ware spent years caring for people in the last weeks of their lives. She wrote down what they told her they regretted. In 2009 she shared the five most common regrets in a blog post that millions read, and later in a book.
The Five Regrets of the Dying in short
Bronnie Ware's five regrets of the dying are: not living a life true to yourself, working too hard, not expressing your feelings, losing touch with friends, and not letting yourself be happier. She heard them while caring for dying people. They are about courage, love and choices, not money or status.
Where it comes from
Bronnie Ware is an Australian writer who worked in palliative care, looking after people at home in their final weeks. In 2009 she published a blog post about what they told her. It spread around the world, and she expanded it into the book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
Her list comes from conversations, not from a study. That is exactly why it moves people: these are things real people said when there was no more time to change them.
- Bronnie WareAustralian author, worked for years caring for people at the end of their lives
The idea in five points
Not living true to yourself
The most common one.
Living the life others expected instead of your own. Ware wrote that this was the regret she heard most often. On ifeelfive this is the Purpose pillar: knowing what your life is for.
Working too hard
Missing the people, not the deals.
Ware heard it from nearly all the men she cared for: they missed their children growing up and their partner's company. That's why Work comes after Self and Social on this site, not before.
Not saying what you feel
Keeping the peace, losing yourself.
Many swallowed their feelings to avoid conflict and settled for less than they wanted. The Social pillar: say it while you can.
Losing touch with friends
Life got busy.
Old friendships faded without anyone deciding it. At the end, people wished they had made the call. Another one for the Social pillar.
Not letting yourself be happier
Happiness is partly a choice.
Many only realised late that they had stayed in old habits and comfortable patterns out of fear of change. The Self pillar: you are allowed to enjoy your life now.
Often misunderstood
The list is sometimes quoted as research data. It isn't. It's one carer's honest account of what she heard, and that's its strength: it doesn't tell you what to want, it reminds you that you still have time to choose.
Try it today: five questions
- Whose expectations are you living by right now?
- Who would you like to spend more time with, starting this week?
- What have you not said to someone that you'd regret not saying?
- Which friend have you not called in far too long?
- What would you allow yourself today if you weren't waiting for later?
How do you feel, out of five? Take the 2-minute check-in → Purpose affirmations →
None of these five has to be yours. Every one of them can still be changed, today. Why not start with the phone call?
Go deeper
- The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware
ifeelfive has no connection to the people named here. This is a short summary in our own words, not their official material, and not medical or therapeutic advice. The links are not affiliate links.
Questions people ask
What are the five regrets of the dying?
Not living a life true to yourself, working too hard, not expressing your feelings, not staying in touch with friends, and not letting yourself be happier. They were collected by Bronnie Ware.
Who is Bronnie Ware?
An Australian author who worked in palliative care. She shared the regrets in a 2009 blog post and later in the book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.
What is the most common regret of the dying?
According to Bronnie Ware: wishing they'd had the courage to live a life true to themselves, not the life others expected of them.
Is the list based on a study?
No. It comes from Ware's conversations with the people she cared for, not from a scientific study.